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Last Update: October 13, 2009
Mar 30

Twin baby boys have a conversation


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Mar 22

Husky Tantrum


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Mar 22


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Jan 26

Tagalog jokes – Knock Knock


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Mga nakakatawa at korning knock knock jokes.

Ganito ang scheme para tipid sa space.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
______.

______ who?
______. (music)

  1.  May Kumaway. May kumaway downtown, walking fast, faces
  2. Ano ba Romace. Ra-ra-ra-a-a-h Ruh-muh-ruh-muh-muh Ga-ga Ooh lah lah, Ano ba Romace?
  3. Uwang. Uwang galing, galing kong sumayaw
  4. Cashew Nut. Don’t tell me you’re sorry Cashew Nut. ~
  5. Ginabing Kokey. Just dance, ginabing kokey. Dadoodoom.
  6. Come back to me. Come back to me bok ang puso. Wala ka ng magagawa kundi sundin ito.
  7. Kangkong, Kangkong, Greenwich, Tomato. New York..kangkong, kangkong, greenwich, tomato. Now you’re in New York! New York!
  8. Sinigang. Sinigaaang! Sandal ka lang. At wag mong pipigilan.~
  9. Solusyon. Solusyon, sa Visayas, at sa Mindanao!
  10. Civil War. Civil war ang tunay na mahirap. Civil war ang tunay na may malasakit.
  11. Inday. Indaaaaaay will always love you.
  12. Avril Lavigne. Avril Lavigne yooou forever. Deep inside my heart it’s yooou forever.
  13. Ay Dyusko! Ay dyusko to say I love you, Ay dyusko to say how much I care.
  14. Phone na Nokia. Phone na Nokia, di sinasadya. Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko.
  15. Kamuning. Kamuning get me, get me, get me. Baby i’m yours. Kaamuning get me.
  16. Russian Patay. Wise men say, only fools Russian, patay can’t help, fallin in love with you.
  17. Terminal. Terminal..every now and then i get a little bit lonely..
  18. Alfred. Alfred my wings and i learned how to fly..
  19. Bumili ng bagong folding bed. Bumili ng bagong folding bed (mad at you).
  20. Pikachu. No, I don’t wanna go to bed (pikachu).
  21. Fire, apoy. If fire apoy, I think I could understand.
  22. River boat. River boat young when I first saw you. I close my eyes.
  23. Lady Gaga. Kung Lady Gaga ka.. sa piling ng iba..
  24. Para, Mamang Taxi. I’m your biggest fan, I’ll follow you until you love me. Para, mamang taxi.
  25. Nido Gatas. I Nido boo, gatas see you boo.. and the hearts all over the world tonight. said the hearts all over the world tonight.
  26. I-autoload mo ako. How much? Magkano? Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, i-autoload mo ko. how much? magkano?
  27. Soon to Open: Pan de Manila. Uno, dos, tres, soon to open Pan de Manila.
  28. Pritong Saba, Pritong Mani, Sinigang, Kare-kare. Pritong saba, pritong mani, sinigang, kare-kare. Hallelu— Hallelujah.
  29. Tagabitbit Putobumbong. Tagabitbit. Tagabitbit. Tagabet bet bet bet bet. Putobumbong. putobumbong. Putobumbong.
  30. Kabag Again. Now i’m speechless, over the edge of this breathless. I never thought that I would catch this, the kabag again.
  31. Melon, Kangkong, Mais, Gulaman, Talong. Melon kangkang mais gulaman. Maari bang mag-talong?
  32. Medicine. Bayang magiliw.. medi-cine.
  33. Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa. Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa. (intro – always be my baby – mariah)
  34. The Hill and Cow. The hill and cow ang sigaw ng puso ko. Ikaw ang nasa isip ko.
  35. Honda. Honda first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.
  36. Honda ulit! Honda wings of love! Up and above the clouds the only way to fly, is Honda Wings of Love.
  37. Pacquiao. But it’s over now. Come on and take Pacquiaooo.
  38. Lasengga. All lasengga ladies. All lasengga ladies. Put your hands up!
  39. Twenty-one. 7 + 7 + 7.. Twenty-one.. 7 x 7 x 7, yan ang hindi ko alam!
  40. BDO. Watch me on your BDO Phone. BDO phone.
  41. Dina Bonnevie, Gary V. Dina Bonnevie my lover, Gary V with my friends.
  42. Lactum. I Lactum move it move it!
  43. Pekpek. You are~ pekpek. you are~ pekpek.
  44. Pulis may wang-wang. Pulis may wang-wang-wang! Shorty fire burning on the dance floor. Ooh~
  45. Tuna Pie. Tuna pie, tuna limit, tuna wall~ for a chance to be with you i’d rather risk it all. Tuna pie, tuna fever come what may! ~
  46. China. Chinaaa~ ika’y muling makita ko. Damhin ang tibok ng puso mo.
  47. Buko Shake. Voulez buko shake avec moi ce soir. Voulez buko shake avec moi ye ye ye ye.
  48. Mighty Mouse. Mighty mouse outside Chicago. Can’t stop driving I don’t know why~
  49. Brunei. May nagmamahal, aakay sa’yo. Aking Brunei ikaw ang nagbigay ng buhay kooo~
  50. What can be? What can be? bitiw bigla. What can be? bitiw bigla. Higpitan lang ang yong kapit..
  51. Coca Cola. Coca cola na lang sana ang iyong minahal, di ka na muling mag-iisa.
  52. We were Aswang. We were aswang babe. For a moment in time.
  53. Little Manuel. I’m not crazy, I’m just a little manuel. I know, right know you can’t tell.
  54. Abby. Abby loving you~ forever! Deep inside my heart its you. Forever.
  55. Lesbians. So lesbians, lesbians for love. Lesbians, lesbians tonight!
  56. I’m a friend. I’m a friend to fly. and I don’t know why?
  57. Korina – Mar Roxas. Oooh~ ooh~ Korina-Mar Roxas.
  58. MOA. Girl you know MOAAA, girl you know MOAAA. (birthday sex)
  59. Thesis. Thesis the moment, my final test.
  60. Cheesy palaman sa tasty. No he ca’t read my poker face (cheesy-palaman-sa-tasty). popopoker face popopoker face.
  61. New Zealand. New Zealand ka sa mundong ito. Laking tuwa ng magulang mo.
  62. Knock knock. Knock knockaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?
  63. Canada. Nakaligo Canada sa dagat ng basura? (OMFVillar! WTF! LSS!)
  64. Joana. I joana close my eyes! I joanna fall asleep.
  65. Pussy Cat. Mag-pussycat! mag-pussycat. Dito sa showtime lahat tayo pussycat!

Source: http://excuses-of-a-fucking-weak.blogspot.com/2010/04/tagalog-knock-knock-jokes-compilation.html

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Jan 26

Tagalog pickup lines! V1


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Alarm clock ka ba? ginising mo kasi ang natutulog kong puso.

Aanhin pa ang gravity? kung lagi akong nahuhulog sa’yo.

kung gagawa ako ng alak pangalan mo ang gagamitin ko. kasi ang lakas mo sumipa kaso sa puso ang tama.

tok! tok! tok! Pwede ba akong pumasok sa buhay mo?

Miss! langit na ba to? para ka kasing anghel.

Redhorse ka ba? ang lakas kasi ng tama ko sayo eh

Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard? type kasi kita eh

alam mo bang exam ako? kaya sagutin mo na ko

kung bola ka at ako ang player, masho-shoot ba kita? hindi! kasi lagi kitang namimiss

Uy! papicture naman tayo oh? para madevelop tayo sa isa’t isa.

Surgeon ka ba? kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng puso ko.

Marimar, kaw ba yan? pwede ba akong maging sergio ng buhay mo?

Miss may-ari ba ng Chocnut factory ang tatay mo? ang tamis kasi ng mga ngiti mo.

Para kang yosi, ang hirap mo alisin sa buhay ko.

may lason bang mga mata mo? nakakamatay kasi ang titig mo.

kailangan mo ba ng tutor? tuturuan kitang mahalin ako.

Aanhin pa ang damo kung sayo pa lang may tama na ako

magaling ka ba sa math? ikaw kasi ang sagot sa mga equation ng buhay ko.

Hindi tayo tao. bagay tayo! bagay!

Para kang Centrum. you make my life complete

Doktor ka ba? kasi kaw lang ang makakagamot ng sugat sa puso ko.

Pulis ba tatay mo? kasi nahuli mo ang puso ko.

Electric Fan ka ba? kasi lagi umiikot ka sa isip ko.

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Jan 26

Tagalog pickup lines! V2


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Mag empake ka…sama ka sakin, punta tayo home for the aged Kasi i wanna grow old with you.
———————————-
Pag ako gumawa ng planeta, gusto ko ikaw ang axis ko. Para sayo lang iikot ang mundo ko.
———————————-
bkit kasi ang likot mo? yan tuloy natabig mo puso ko, nahulog pa sau.
———————————-
Uy dadaan pa ba ko dyan sa inyo? O dederetso nako sa puso mo?
———————————-
wala man akong pera para bilin ang kahapon, pero handa akong utangin ang bukas makasama ka lang maghapon.
———————————-
Alam mo para kang ligaw na bala
sa iba ka nakalaan…
PERO AKO ANG NATAMAAN.
———————————-
sana signal na lng ako
para pag nawala ako
hahanap ka ng paraan
para makita ako.
———————————-
Alam mo, layas ka talaga eh, no?
Pati sa panaginip ko, nakakarating ka…
———————————-
mekaniko ka ba? kailangan ko kasi ng magkukumpuni ng puso ko
———————————-
Miss apoy ka ba? kasi “ALAB” u
———————————-
Tinatanong ng nanay ko kung kapuso ka ba? kasi gusto ka nming gawing kapamilya
———————————-
Cguro sa inuman malalaki ang matitipid ko, kasi tinitingnan pa lang kita tinatamaan na ako.
———————————-
sana mura ka na lang para pwede kang mahalin
———————————-
Kailangan mo ba ng tutor? tuturuan kitang mahalin ako.
———————————-
Surgeon ka ba? kasi ikaw lang ang nakapagbukas ng nakasara ko nang puso ko.
———————————-
Geometry ba ang favorite subject mo? Kasi kahit anong angle, ang ganda mo.
———————————-
para kang traffic sa EDSA, coz i can’t move on…
———————————-
Alam ko na bakit ang init ngayong summer. ang hot hot mo eh
———————————-
parang kang ovaltine. i just can’t get enough
———————————-
Para kg TABLE OF CONTENTS. Dahil ikaw ang topic ng bawat pahina ng buhay ko
———————————-
Boy: Pwede bang tabi tayo kapag nagstart na ang quiz?
Girl: Bakit?Mangongopya ka na naman!
Boy: Hindi ah. Kasi I feel perfect when i’m beside you.
———————————-